Swallowing Shadows - HollyLeaf

Stuck alone, swallowing shadows
Everything I've ever held close has crumbled

Broken code
I'm at a crossroad
Do I swallow my pride, stay and hide
Or face my families lies?

Tied
To a history of shame
Smeared names, who's to blame?
I'm trapped in the flames
Of my past
That they cast

All I ever wanted was to be something more
My family, my clan, the code, it's all I lived for
My lungs scream for air but how can I bare
To know that I am wrong right down to the core

How can I ust go free, when everything inside of me
Has been nothing but a fabricated reality?

I thought I knew my place
But that's all been erased
I'm going to die down here
I'm running out of breathing space

Half-blooded, minds flooded in a lake of doubt
Am I the punishment provided for a love not allowed?

Is starclan watching us now
From up in the clouds?
As I tumble and I fumble deeper down into this tunnel

Did they know all along despite it being wrong
That destiny can go beyond what rules were set upon

Does love matter where it came from
Or is it something that we should be numb from?

But when you push the love aside it doesn't hide the lie
How can I search and find the pride
Of having my life divided?
How could I have been misguided?

Ripped as a kit quick from my mother now split from my brothers
And it's getting darker and I have to wonder
Am I destined to go under
For all the sins I have covered?

All I ever wanted was to be something more
But now I know that I'm wicked straight to the core

My lungs scream for air but how can I bare
To know I left him bleeding by that stream shore

How can I just go through knowing what I had to do
Meant the death of someone just to keep him mute

He could have known this place, he could have made a change
He's going to die up there
I tore away his breathing space

All I ever wanted was to be something more
I know that I am wicked straight to the core
I left him bleeding by that stream shore
My family, the code is all I lived for

Stuck alone, swallowing shadows

Half-blooded mind's flooded

Tied
To a history of shame

Does love matter where it comes from?
Or is it something we should be numb from?

All I ever wanted was to be something more
But now I know that I am wicked straight to the core

I left him bleeding out on that stream shore

My family, the code, it's all I lived for
It's all I lived for
It's all I lived for
Now I have nothing to live for