Hate

Can you see me in this hell?
Trapped inside and trying to escape
The voices never stop
You worthless piece of trash

My wailing pleads of sorrow fuel my hate for weakness
The bitterness never ends
I lay here on my back behind my fickle shield of strength

I am broken
Will you help me?
What is this that I have become?
So far removed from what God made me to be

Why do I have to live in so much pain?
I try to do good since I was a child
But this internal enemy
Monster inside
It kills me
Molests me every night

What good is a wretch like me?
Broken and made cold
Oh, God, just let me die
I stick the gun in my mouth and try to do it
But memories keep flooding in of a mother who loved her son

Abba God in heaven
I have not given up
I don't know what you see in me
But I have not stopped fighting

Can you see me in this hell?
Trapped inside and trying to escape
The voices never stop
You worthless piece of trash
My wailing pleads of sorrow fuel my hate for weakness
The bitterness never ends