When I Was Single

When I was single I used to comb my hair
Noo that I'm mairrit I huvnae the time to spare
Oh, it's a life it's a life, a weary weary life.
It's better tae be single than tae be a marrit wife.

When I was single I used a powder Puff,
Noo that I'm mairrit I canny afford the stuff-
One shouts "Mammy, help me intae my pram."
The ither shouts "Daddy, gie me a piece an' jam."
One shouts "Mammy, help me intae bed."
The ither shouts, "Daddy, scratch my wooden leg."