Not Supposed To Love Me

I've abandoned hope looking for something that was real
I'll try not to think about it, I don't want to feel
'Cause it's all just too much to carry, it's all much too wrong
I've lived in levity so long
I'm forever haunted by the choices that I've made
A weight beyond imagining that never seems to fade
For every scar I've left behind comes back to me in waves
I run from love, I run away

'Cause despite it all, I'm fine
Despite the pain we shared
I told you stories, told you lies
I never shoulda dared open the door
The tears of the past mean nothing anymore
And you're not supposed to miss me
To hell with everyone
Who ever swore they'd help me
Don't you tell me what I want
Or what I need, 'cause I'm the bigger man
I'm never looking back, and you won't see me again
'Cause you're not supposed to love me

Family fell apart, they made me feel like I was weak
So I cut them from my life, my feelings buried far beneath
No, I do not deserve to be forgiven of my sins
Shut up and leave me in ruins

'Cause despite it all, I'm fine
Despite the pain we shared
I told you stories, told you lies
I never shoulda dared open the door
The tears of the past mean nothing anymore
And you're not supposed to miss me
To hell with everyone
Who ever swore they'd help me
Don't you tell me what I want
Or what I need, 'cause I'm the bigger man
I'm never looking back, and you won't see me again
'Cause you're not supposed to love me, no
You're not supposed to love me

You're making this so hard
Won't let me disappear
Somehow you see me in the dark
Too long I lived in fear, now it's too late
No, I don't want to go, but I chose my own fate
I hate you, but you'll still miss me

So thank you everyone
Whoever tried to help me
After all that's said and done
You held me close, and made me understand
But I'll never come back, and you won't see me again
'Cause you're not supposed to love me, no (no)
You're not supposed to love me, no (no)
You're not supposed to love me

La-la, la-la, la-la, la (oh)
La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la-la (no, no, no)
La-la, la-la, la-la, la
La-la, la-la (you're not supposed to love me)
La-la, la-la, la-la, la (me)
La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la-la (me)
La-la, la-la, la-la, la