Seaside Lament (Sand)

Baby always wanted to spend the day at the beach
But I'd be just as happy if the seaside were well out of reach
Sure, I like the sun and the little beach town
And I'm a good enough swimmer that I'll never drown
And I always come back with a tan but wearin' a frown

But I don't like sand
Sand down my pants

My baby complained that we never went to the shore
She finally convinced me to go, but I won't anymore
I stayed in the car and watched a portable T.V.
My baby got mad and ran on down to the sea
She came back with a bucket and a shovel and she came after me

And she put sand
Sand down my pants

Ooh, it's gritty in Surf City
I just can't shake it until I'm naked
You know it makes my Speedos crunch like Doritos
I got shifting dunes in my Fruit of the Looms

My baby put sand
Sand down my-

Little Surfer Girl went and found someone new
The lesson is learned; don't let it happen to you
But when I get lonely for her, there's something I do

I just put sand
Sand down my pants