Jesus Wants You To Buy This Record

Good morning and welcome to Christian Hits Radio,
All the hits that fit, all the sounds that go 'round,
Today, lesson in tolerance,
Come and ride in my Honda, BLT.

Sometimes I can't believe how blessed I must be that I got this groovy mission concept,
Heaven's eternity,
They all flock to me,
I charge a hefty fee,
I have to jet set around the world to proclaim God's victory,
You can buy all my t-shirts,
Videos for under your Christmas tree.

Jesus wants you to buy this record,
A witness for the fallen world to see,
Jesus wants you to buy this record,
So wealthy sinner want to be like me.

Claim God's will as a political stance,
I'm an American, not Ameri-can't,
Everybody's trying to reach the poor, but the wealthy need a friend,
Have you read my book?
How other preachers are crooks,
I have to reach the cream of the crop, so the loser kids will fall in line,
Come on, it'll be a riot,
You'll want the world to try it.

Jesus wants you to buy this record,
A witness for the fallen world to see,
Jesus wants you to buy this record,
So wealthy sinner want to be like me.

Get a credit card with a picture of me,
Send in money, keep me on TV,
Don't let the world see me fail,
Or how on earth will they believe?
It's for Heaven's sake,
Give me your cash, give God a break.

Jesus wants you to buy this record,
We can change music history,
Jesus wants you to buy this record,
So I can plug Jesus on network TV,
Jesus wants you to buy this record,
And I can reach out to celebrities,
Jesus wants you to buy this record,
The Ford 500 needs to hear from me.

I just had the weirdest dream.