I live a life
Of outrageous extravagance
From way up here
Show my talent and elegance
I have some weird peccadillos
Stick 'em on the rider

When I arrive
I want some heel-clickers
After my doughnut
A couple of lip-lickers
Moisturise them both
Then slap 'em on the rider

Woe is me
I'll let you know when I'm ready to sing
I can't exist
Can't do my thing

Without a brace of
Super hot psycho-ologists
Cover my back
With a sincere apologist
And where's the Dom?
I know I wrote it in the rider

Take me up in a
Private elevator
And don't forget to book a
Bliss appropriator
What happened to the last guy
Check it in the rider

Woe is me
You'll never know when I'm ready to sing
I can't exist
Can't do my thing

Keep 'em waiting
While I prefer to stay
Catch a live performance
Just for me, Cirque du Soleil

Woe is me
I'll let you know
When I'm ready to sing
I can't exist
Can't do my thing

Don't call me precious
Priceless is just fine
I'm worth even more
In this here swollen head of mine

Before I dance, get my
Poddy-macologist
I got bumps now
Where's my phrenologist
I'm off to the Funny Farm
It's all there in the rider