Ah, welcome to the hallowed inner circles o' Jessica's bra
Since you're askin', that's a typo on a sign above the bar
Big Mary is a-wrestlin' with her conscience and a toe
She's a champion at both, a flick of her hips and over you go
There's a fella in the corner sippin' water through a straw
We'll keep an eye on him, just to be absolutely sure

It's somewhere to escape from the unpleasantries of life
A chance to get away from all the trouble and the strife
Nelson's falling over while he's lying down
We all respect his talent so we'll leave him there for now
And the fella in the corner sipping water through a straw
He's completely motionless, what the hell's he waiting for?

Mr Bland's an issue solver from the ministry of grey
Commissioned by a caring team to turn up every day
We're all helping with the gravity, make sure it never fails
With bawdy camaraderie and flagons of Tumbling Ale

A tweedy bird from Berkshire is looking for some rough
Sidles up to Bailey, who is more than rough enough
And now the vicar's daughter's doing hand-stands up the wall
The boys reach out to grab her before she takes a fall
And if you want to know what happened to the funny little fella
He's being educated at a session in the cellar

And should you still be wondrin' where on Earth you are
Tell your friends you're having the time of your life, heh, in Jessica's bra
In Jessica's Bra, wow