Nothing Left To Hate

I never needed help
I needed someone to watch me fall

How many times did I build myself out of nothing just to tear it all down again?
How many promises did I stitch into my own skin just to rip them out when no one stayed?
Every mirror I broke, every door I slammed, every fist I threw at the air

I was screaming for someone to make it stopa
But I knew it had to be me
And it never was

I saw the cracks form
I watched the floor give out
I was the first to leave myself behind

Nothing left to patch
Nothing left to hate but me

I filled every empty space with noise, with blood
And every time I said: I'm fine it felt more like a loaded gun than a lifeline
I ran my hands through the ashes of what I could've been

Crushed every second chance like it owed me something
I was supposed to be better
But I can't stay human long enough to heal

How many times did I build myself out of nothing just to tear it all down again?
How many promises did I stitch into my own skin just to rip them out when no one stayed?
Every mirror I broke, every door I slammed, every fist I threw at the air

I carry every version of myself that failed
I drag them behind me like a fucking chain

Crumble where I stand, bury me in the walls I built
I was the storm
I was the silence after

I was everything I said I'd never be
I was everything I said I'd never be

And I can't even tell
I can't even tell the difference anymore