Chapter 19

Check out the mess I've made
I'm 19 and I'm plotting graves
I've got some special K
And an 8 ball of fun
3 bags why not
Tonight I take the bible to the grave
Well I'm going out
Oh yes, I'm checking out
I'm a waste of being and by gosh I believe
This is really me OD'ing
I'm OD'ing
Oh Fuck, I'm bleeding from my mouth
Another walks in on a respiratory failure gone right
Can a failure go right? I'm a failure gone right
What kind of friend leaves the door locked and doesn't come in?
Is he afraid what he'll find? Is he ashamed I got there first?
Was it fun to commit an act on life? Was it fun?
Was it fun to call my dad to pick me up? Weighing in at 101
Was it fun to say the foil on the floor was from the junkie the night before?
Lying to cheat and cheating to steal
We are all just teenage criminals
Hold on, Hold on
And just grab a grip
Its never been shocking before
They couldn't put it past me anymore
No, not anymore
I've committed moral sin
I pray I don't go back to the way I was before
But I've never liked to feel
No, don't like to feel
More likely I'm no better than a suicidal god of war
No you never wanted me
I swear I didn't write this because I care
I'm writing, I'm just being honest
The record just needs its fair share
I'm no son of god, right?
What is the color of night?
Some it's black, it's just right
And at the end of the day
It's alright