Numb

Yeah
I don't know, man
I think my settings are fucked up
I'm just, buffering

Woke up at 2 PM, staring at the ceiling fan
Brain is foggy like I'm still popping the xan
But I'm sober, I guess, just a hollow shell
Living in this purgatory, it ain't heaven, ain't hell
I put the outfit on, I put the mask on tight
Gotta play the character to survive the night
My homies cracking jokes, I'm laughing on cue
But inside, I'm dead silence, nothing coming through

I'm looking at my hands like they don't belong to me
Dissociating hard, glitching in 4K, you see?
They ask me: Are you good? I say I'm straight, no cap
But my soul is disconnected, vanished off the map

I'm fucking numb
Yeah, I'm cold to the touch
I try to feel something, but it's asking too much
I'm faking the smile, I'm faking the vibe
Just a high-functioning ghost trying to stay alive
Everything is static, everything is grey
I'm on autopilot, just getting through the day
So fucking numb

Shawty crying in the bedroom, saying I'm a wall
I'm watching her tears drop, and I feel fuck all
It's scary, to be honest, looking in her eyes
And realizing my empathy was just a disguise
I used to burn bright, now I'm LED cold
A chemical reaction that got bought and sold
I'm walking like an NPC in my own damn life
Waiting for the system to crash or the knife

I'm fucking numb
Yeah, I'm cold to the touch
I try to feel something, but it's asking too much
I'm faking the smile, I'm faking the vibe
Just a high-functioning ghost trying to stay alive
Everything is static, everything is grey
I'm on autopilot, just getting through the day

Do I miss the pain?
Maybe
At least pain is real
This?
This is just, nothing
Static
White noise

I'm trying, though
I swear I'm trying
Just give me a minute to reboot
Fuck