Out of Step

I wake up late, the day's already gone
The sun's an accountant, tallying wrongs
Receipts of regret in my pockets and seams
I walk through the hours but never arrive
Shoes full of miles, nowhere to land
I shake hands with ghosts I don't understand

The clock just stares, unmoved, precise
Like it's memorized all my alibis
Every soon, every not today
Comes back breathing down my neck, saying stay

I'm out of step, out of time
Always dragging behind the line
Too late for love, too soon for ends
I skip beginnings, I bury friends
The world spins fast with a borrowed grin
It never waits to let me in
I'm out of step with what I am
A never-on-time kind of man

There were lights left on for me
Now they flicker out politely
I sell tomorrow like a cure
But it slips away uninsured
Names I wear but never call
Doors I pass, I don't knock at all
Every rush I called desire
Was fear dressed up as wire

It's not that change scares me blind
I just fracture inside my mind
Every option, every doubt
Pulls me under, drags me down

I'm out of step, out of time
Always dragging behind the line
Too late for love, too soon for ends
I skip beginnings, I bury friends
The world spins fast with a borrowed grin
It never waits to let me in
I'm out of step with what I am
A never-on-time kind of man

If I stopped to hear my feet
On honest ground beneath the street
I'd know it's not the clock I curse
It's choice that hits me so much worse
This isn't speed, it's camouflage
This isn't time, it's sabotage
I didn't lose the way back home
I fear the walk I'd take alone

I'm out of step, still out of phase
Chasing lines I'm scared to trace
Afraid to win, afraid to fall
Renting hope, avoiding all
If I ever stand my ground
Let the quiet ring out loud
Living on time means choosing breath
Not rehearsing for my death

The clock keeps moving, sharp and clean
It never blinks, it never dreams
I'm out of step, but now I see
Time's not gone, it's waiting on me