Stephen plays the drums, but he's not even the drummer in the band
You think he's a guitarist, but he's secretly a very rhythmic man
He's been licking his chops, practicing them too
When he sits behind the kit he knows exactly what to do

He's a dark horse drummer, not a bummer, and he's never uptight
He knows the old fast songs and he actually plays them right

Stephen is a Trekkie, but everybody thinks he is a punk
He was even in a movie in the 80s, in which he played a punk
He's a really sweet dude, might come as a surprise
He's the punkest motherfucker on the Starship Enterprise
Stephen is a Trekkie, but everybody knows that he's a punk

He's a dark horse drummer, not a bummer, and he's never uptight
He knows the old fast songs and he actually plays them right

Stephen plays the drums, he'd be the drummer if the Buddies were a band