Horror Show

Not to be outdone, Not to be unrewarded.
I put my best foot forward, it went straight in my mouth.

She said, 'You dirty little louse,
Why don't you cook and clean the house?'
And then she went straight out.
She left behind her coat and mittens.

She came in looking like a horror show,
At half past four this morning.
She looked grim, her hair was lank,
Her lips were blue, what was I supposed to do.
I said 'sit down sweetheart and let me tend your wounds,
You're back in safe hands now.
No matter where you've been,
You can stay with me till the sunlight crashes in'.

Well the grazes on her knees were fixed with TCP,
And her red and swollen feet needed warm and gentle bathing,
She's been misbehaving, she's been a little loose,
But I'm getting used to her falling quick in love with her.