I.M.P. Jingle (Wally's Version) (feat. Don Darryl Rivera, Sam Haft, Vivian Nixon Williams, Lyle Rath, Paulette Jones, Cristina Vee & Josh Tomar)

Da-da-da-da-da-da, da, da, da

[Wally Wackford]
Are you so lonely and hurt?

[Actor]
Oh my gods, it hurts so bad

[Wally Wackford]
Are you thinkin' maybe you could do with the romantic embrace of a stranger to keep you warm at night?

[Actor]
Oh, it's so cold, it hurts

[Wally Wackford]
Well, lucky for you, there's a service that can link you up with singles like this and whatnot

[Actor]
Hello, would you like to be on top of me?

[Wally Wackford]
What a catch, who else is out there?

[Actor]
I like, uh, well, not specifically, but for example, feet

[Wally Wackford]
Singles are standing by to take your call

[Actor]
I'm lookin' for Jeffrey, he knows what he did

[Wally Wackford]
Hubba, hubba

[Actor]
I'm looking for someone to be mean to me because I'm a real piece of shit

[Wally Wackford]
Every moment you're not callin' is a person you're not meetin'

[Actor]
I'm lookin' for someone who can really appreciate my Fizzarolli impression, mhm
Hey, what's you, fuck, I fucked it up

[Wally Wackford]
This is what's out there. What, do you wanna be alone?

[Actor]
I want a guy who's into the obscure holes, I'm talkin' nostrils, baby

[Wally Wackford]
You think you're too good for this? You ain't

[Actor]
I like planes, I like space, I like mountains, I just
I just like to be up
Sometimes, I'll just climb a ladder, just whatever gets me up

[Wally Wackford]
If you could do better, you wouldn't be watchin'

[Actor]
Oh, like I'm not saying it's this, but, you know, maybe piss on me?

[Wally Wackford]
Deal with it

If you're feelin' tired of feelin' so lonely
Then give us a call, yeah, just pick up the phonely
It's our guarantee, if you call I-M-P
You'll immediately meet people
Just dial 555-555-443-545-66444-44077
5555-124-444-5555-444-443-3336
Picture-of-a-dinosaur-5442-222
Then a bunch of threes, 22-479
Immediately meet people

[Wally Wackford]
I say, I say, call today