Monochrome

I'm not scared to die anymore
A simple statement that I shouldn't have to say at this age
But it's a true statement as death reduces time in a secluded state
Although I don't wish to invest my ideas in hopelessness
I feel as if they've been wasted
As if they're turning the handle on a locked door that needs a key

But that key does not exist
Why do I feel so hopeless?
I shouldn't feel this way at this young age
I have a whole life to rot in my grave

I shouldn't feel this way at this young age
I've spent my whole life turning in my grave
Staying bitter about all of my failures, I won't fail this time

I always said I'd never let myself get like this
It's breaking me to the core
I've always felt as if I've been
Put second best to the ones who I despise
I can't keep this hole in my chest
I always feel the guilt for never being there
For myself when I needed me the most
I've lost all love, my life is monochrome

I've lost all love, my life is monochrome
And when I find myself I will find my home

I've found sadness in this state
And what if a life of no love awaits?
I'm not afraid to say that I can't go on
I can't go on feeling this way
I hate my life and all around me is bleak
Am I less of a man if I admit I'm weak?
Because I feel sick, I'm tired and bored
Of my routine and all my fucking flaws

I always said I'd never let myself get like this
It's breaking me to the core
I've always felt as if I've been
Put second best to the ones who I despise
I can't keep this hole in my chest
I always feel the guilt for never being there
For myself when I needed me the most
I've lost all love, and my life is monochrome

I've lost all love, my life is monochrome
I've lost all love, my life is monochrome
I've lost all love, I've lost all love, I've lost all love
My life is monochrome

When I find myself, I will find my home
When I find myself, I will find my home