A Familiar Direction

Straight down, a familiar direction
Stay out, never wanted at home
Too busy backing myself into a corner
Too late to figure out the things I don't know

Same round, another year in a cycle
Laid out, each time a heavier blow
I must've turned myself around in the moment
I could've put it down a decade ago

A million ways that I could start it again
To lift a heavier head
Too scared of moving the wrong way
I promise everything is going to plan
I want to lay in my own sunlight again
Deserve to live in my skin
Give myself over to something
Instead I'm counting all the lines in my hands

Came to, laying out in the open
Bold colors floating over my head
I'll have some answers when I wake in the morning
Till then I'm clueless as to where to begin

Bleed red, another drop in an ocean
Sharks circle at the foot of my bed
Celebrate another year in the making
Treading water trying not to forget

A million ways that I could start it again
To lift a heavier head
Too scared of moving the wrong way
I promise everything is going to plan
I want to lay in my own sunlight again
Deserve to live in my skin
Give myself over to something
Instead I'm counting all the lines in my hands