I Don't Wanna Be Married, I Just Wanna Be Friends

[Verse:]
[Pickles:]
You're compromising me
But that's exactly as it ought to be
I simply fell for you because I wanted to fall
Don't speak of wedding chimes
Because we mustn't be behind the times
Besides a wedding isn't necessary at all

[1st refrain:]
Don't worry because I fell
You don't have to do right by Nell
'Cause I don't wanna be married, I just wanna be friends

Don't worry 'cause I gave in
Best of families live in sin
'Cause they don't wanna be married, they just wanna be friends

While all the happy married couples sit and fight
We'll be still going strong
And fifty million Frenchmen say it's quite alright
And that many can't be wrong

I never would change my name
Even after the baby came
'Cause I don't wanna be married, I just wanna be friends

[2nd refrain:]
[Joe:]
My father would give me hell
If I didn't do right by Nell
But I don't wanna be married, I just wanna be friends

Please grant me my father's wish
Shotgun weddings are just his dish
I don't wanna be married, I just wanna be friends

The kiddies wouldn't like it, they'd be awfully mad
'Twould be known near and far
To be a little "who's-this" isn't really bad
For some of my best friends are

If not for the family
Make an hon'rable man of me!
But I don't wanna be married, I just wanna be friends