Disappearing would be my only work of art

I lie awake staring at the ceiling
Nothing special tonight
The room feels quiet, almost peaceful
If I don't think too much

And just letting the thoughts pass slowly
Like they've done a thousand nights before

I wake up tired, shake it off
Tell myself I'm fine
I say it like it still means something
Like it hasn't lost its shine

I don't say it out loud
I don't make it a thing
I learned how to stay quiet
About everything

I learned how to stay quiet

I think I got used to feeling like this
Used to feeling low
I didn't fall, I didn't break
I just learned to let it go

I don't know when it started
I don't know what I missed
But somewhere along the way
I think I got used to feeling like this

Sadness comes like it knows me
Always right on time

It waits for me in silence
Like it knows this life is mine

I tried to ask for help once
In ways you couldn't see
I thought if I stayed long enough
Someone would come to me

I thought it would feel louder
I thought someone would ask
But nothing really happened
And I went right back

I went right back

I think I got used to feeling like this
Used to feeling low
I didn't fall, I didn't break
I just learned to let it go

I don't know when it started
I don't know what I missed
But somewhere along the way
I think I got used to feeling like this

Sometimes I think disappearing
Would be my only work of art

Not to be remembered
Just not this tired heart

Maybe someday I'll stop feeling tired
Even after sleep

But right now every morning
Feels like a repeat

I think I got used to feeling like this
Like this is how it is
Like being here and breathing
Is all there really is

I don't know when it started
I don't know what I missed
But if this is who I am now
I think I got used to feeling like this

Just letting the thoughts pass slowly
Like they've done a thousand nights before