More bad news for all to see
Funny how it never reaches me
Cartoon scandals tweak my eyes
Like Christians to the lions-
Let them eat celebrities!

So c'mon!
All ye lemmings
Let's go!
Tiger's penis, Britney's chrome dome
Bigger hype for years than all the wars
Feed us, please
Hollywood Goof Disease

Glamourize the overpaid
Each in need of a grenade
Surf at work on TMZ
Famous faces' Twitter feeds
Just the simple life we need

So c'mon!
What has Charlie Sheen done now?
Michael Jackson dead is never old
Nibbling like Sandusky and the Pope
Another tease
Hollywood Goof Disease

Shut up and shop
Shut up and shop
Shut up and shop

Exhume/consume
Exhume/consume
Exhume/consume
Exhume/consume

Oprah is our national Prozac
Our witch doctor's named Phil
What on earth is a Kardashian?
Should Snooki be allowed to reproduce?

Well, hey! Look at me!
But why won't they leave me alone?
Drugs and paparazzi
A victim all the time
Instead of God, shopping and rehab
Why don't you just die?
Why don't you just die?
Why don't you just die?

Of Hollywood Goof Disease
At the edge of our seats
Hollywood Goof Disease
Bark along with me
Hollywood Goof Disease
Like a mob of trained seals
Hollywood Goof Disease