Loved Us To Death

This December is colder
Than your shoulder
It's only been five months, but I feel ten years older
I'll always miss you, but I'll never let you know it
Heart weighed down with you
But you won't have to hold it

Loving me will always be some kind of death
But loving you more means loving me less
I pray to anything that will listen
Let me lay this to rest
I already loved us to death

I held your edges
Hoping they'd make me bleed
But your apathy seems to be
All that you need

You won't admit fault for all of these bodies
But hey, baby, at least you're fun at parties
You looked at me like an inconvenience
But I looked at you like a downfall

You're leaving me in ruins
Stop putting me through this
Will I make it out of here
It's a close call

Loving me will always be some kind of death
But loving you more means loving me less
I pray to anything that will listen
Let me lay this to rest
I already loved us to death

The only thing I'll never ask you is to stop
The only girl you wanted is everyone that I'm not
I wanted desire so fierce, it felt violent
Can you feel my name in your mouth when it's silent

And you're such a pretty liar
But I'm getting pretty tired
Of pretending this was more than a bad decision
So here's my last admission
I hope you're happy but I know that you're not
And you're my favorite contradiction

Loving me will always be some kind of death
And loving you will always be an honest mess
I pray to anything that will listen
Let me lay this to rest
I already loved us to death