Please, No Squeeza Da Banana

Riley the cop would always stop
On the corner at Tony's stand
He'd help himself to anything
On which he could lay his hand

Riley did this quite often;
Plenty of fruit he would soften
'Til Tony got sore
And inwardly swore
Then he began to shout:

"Hey! Please no squeeza da banana!
Because when-a you do dat
Den-a you make her flat
Hey! Please no squeeza da banana
'Cause!
When you squeeza da plum
You put-a him on the bum

You touch-a dis, you touch-a dat
You touch-a everyt'ing
You push-a dis, you push-a dat
You never buy notting!
So please no squeeza da banana!
If you squeeza, Officer, please
Squeeza da coconut!

Hey, please no squeeza da banana
'Cause!
When you squeeza da grape
You put-a him outta shape!
You squeeza dis, you squeeza dat
Why don't you squeeza citroul?
Oh, please no squeeza da banana!
If you squeeza, Officer, please
Squeeza da coconut!

Hey, please no squeeza da banana
'Cause!
When-a you make-a da reach
You break him uppa da peach!
You push-a dis, you push-a dat
You muss 'em uppa da stand
You take-a dis, you take-a dat
Someday I break-a you hand!
So please no squeeza da banana
If you squeeza, Officer, please
Squeeza da coconut!

Hey, please no squeeza da banana
'Cause!
When you squeeza da pear
You act-a like a square
You touch-a dis, you touch-a dat
You flatten out-a da fig
You squeeza dis, you eat-a dat
You act-a like a pig!
So please no squeeza da banana!
If you squeeza, Officer, please
Squeeza da coconut!
Hey! Squeeza da watermelon, hey
But please no squeeza da banana!"