Even If The Fate Is About To Change

After taking away everything from myself
I have lived through half of my life
Never abandoned and never forlorn
Yet within this hermitage
I feel that this fate isn't my property
And this place belonging to on-one
Just pretends hosting me

Is this the very moment
When I close my eyes and see the darkness
And not the abyss hanging above me
Suspended within me?

Now I see through
I have never been arising but
Like a sack of meat I'm constantly nailed
Onto your enormous fang
So that you could stare within me for too long
So that you could take my life away

Like a women pregnant for 20 months languid I wonder around
In my entrails carrying this huge sack
Which I'll bestow to my child so that earlier it could die
Or not lose time for conscious living his life
I'll take hours away from him, and save him from useless days
Alive ones, which from now on
Shall be an eternal curse for my entire kind

(Then through wrapped by black web eye
I'll look at people unseen to me for so long
Whose gaze will speak to me the only language
Greedy for tasting another one tragedy)

There is no turning back
To win means to lose everything