loser monologue

I stare at your pictures for hours on end
Dreaming, fantasizing about holding you
Feeling my hands on your bare skin
Just being with you
But I know it'll never happen
But I can't stop myself from fantasizing
I think about you for hours until I realize how much time
I've spent thinking of a scenario that'll never happen

You're so beautiful and funny
And anytime I see your picture or hear your name
My stomach flips and I get butterflies
Every word you say sends goosebumps all over my body

I've tried for so long not to look at you
To not look at pictures of you
To cut off all contact with you
But I can't stop
I can't stop how I feel
I don't know if I'll ever stop feeling this way
At least not for a long time

I see you with him it makes me sick to my stomach
And although that should put me off you, it doesn't
It only makes me want you more
If you knew how I felt, I wouldn't even be writing this shit
I wouldn't be so lonely
You'd understand how much you mean to me
You mean so much to me

I wish you'd look at me the way I look at you
I wish I could be with you
I just want to feel the warmth of your body next to mine
To see your smile
I want to play with your hair
See it shine under the Sun as it hits you just right

I want to watch the Sun sink behind the heavens with you
Talk, laugh, make out
Anything
I just want anything from you