i swear i'm not sad everyday

I swear I'm not sad everyday
But everyday you see me I'm sad
It's not that I want to
I just kinda do
And that makes you mad

I swear that I'm trying to change
And I'm saying this all over again
It's just that this time is true
I'll face it instead
Of getting a new tattoo

I know I've said this all before
I know you can't take me, no more

So this is me trying
Pretendin' I'm not dying
Just to keep you here for a little while
So this is me writing
Instead of keepin' inside me
'Cause I'm exploding, going downhill again
But at least I'm doing it while you're here holding my hand

I swear I'm not quiet everyday
But I'm quiet most of the time
I'm just questioning life
Screaming at the sky
I want to feel alright

I swear that I try to have faith
That I'm also friend of my friends
But they just never reply
Never say goodbye
I'm a phase they pass by

I know I said this before
But everyone left
So I'm still trying to make you stay a little bit more

So this is me trying
Pretendin' I'm not dying
Just to keep you here for a little while
This is me writing
Instead of keepin' inside me
'Cause I'm exploding, going downhill again
But at least I'm doing it while you're here holding my hand
But at least I'm doing it while you're here holding my hand
Oh

I'm trying to feel alright again
Again
But I don't know if I ever did oh tell me when
Tell me when
I'm trying to feel love in my veins
My veins
But I'm scared that I'll be hurt again

So this is me trying
Pretendin' I'm not dying
Just to keep you here for a little while
So this is me writing
Instead of keepin' inside me
'Cause I'm exploding, going downhill again
But at least I'm doing it while you're here holding my hand