Fell

You can laugh all you want to,
I don't care.
Only one thing matters to me
and it isn't here.
Like a happy, go-easy girl,
I should've waited for those railing bells.
They were only the rattling about
of my ruined shell.

what do I know about love?
I never could show myself.
I lay down my cloud hung hopes
wherever the first ones fell.

I lit up to the tower
when you were last asleep.
With the pigeons and cobwebs to cover,
I kept my peace.
But this terrible aching was rumbling
through the stone floors.
And I set out to howling,
Rescue me!

what do I know about love?
I never could show myself.
I lay down my cloud hung hopes
wherever the first ones fell.

Stammer away,
penny brigade,
Hell sunk and fretless
and dancing.
I played all my fears
into alchemy's ears
and she's deaf to my
every asking.

Take this saturn-soft flesh,
that I have smoothed over.
Give it all up to gravel and grease
and hard labor.
There were lovers who shone over me
like to shame the very sun,
but the thieves who would spit on my breast
were the generous ones.

what do I know about love?
I never could show myself.
I lay down my cloud hung hopes
wherever the first ones fell.