No Past To Return To

No past
No home
No little light behind me
Just smoke

They say I'm cold
Like I was born without a flame
They say my heart
Forgot the sound of my own name
But they don't know
What it's like to grow in smoke
To call a ruin home
And learn to laugh before you choke

I didn't lose my innocence
It never had a room
No golden days behind me
No flowers ever bloomed

Maybe I'm bad bad bad
Maybe they're right about me
I've got no past to run back to
No softer place that found me
Maybe I'm cruel cruel cruel
But tell me what was I to do
When there's no heaven in yesterday
You become the hell they made of you

Oh, oh, oh, oh
No past to return to
Oh, oh, oh, oh
No child left to run to

I don't look back
There's nothing there that says my name
No childhood light
No open door no gentle rain
Just broken glass
And echoes dressed like lullabies
I learned to bare my teeth
Before I ever learned to cry

I didn't fall from grace
I crawled from underneath
No angels came to save me
So I became my teeth

Maybe I'm bad bad bad
Maybe they're right about me
I've got no past to run back to
No softer place that found me
Maybe I'm cruel cruel cruel
But tell me what was I to do
When there's no heaven in yesterday
You become the hell they made of you

Back
Ha
Back where
There's no little girl waiting
No porch light
No bedroom wall
No before all this
Just smoke under the door
Just teeth in the dark
Just me
I was raised by the wound

Raised by the wound
Raised by the wound
Raised by the wound

Don't ask me where I came from
There's ashes in the answer
Don't tell me to remember
Memory was never shelter
I was not a fallen angel
I was never touched by light
So if I burn the world around me
It's just to feel warm for a night

Maybe I'm bad bad bad
But I was built from what betrayed me
No past no home no Holy Ghost
No younger self to save me
Maybe I'm cruel cruel cruel
But every scar became my truth
When there's no heaven in yesterday
You become the hell they made of you

Oh, oh, oh, oh
No past to return to
Oh, oh, oh, oh
No child left to run to
Oh, oh, oh, oh
No softer place behind me
Oh, oh, oh, oh
No memory to find me

Maybe I'm bad
Maybe it's true
But I never had a past
To return to

Ha