El Matador

The Bullfighter

El Matador

I feel a deep threadSiento un hilo profundo
that crosses the spaceque atraviesa el espacio
-from time to time it arrives-de tiempo en tiempo llega
slowly-.despacio-.
I smell the plainsSiento olor de llanuras
full of pilgrimsllenas de peregrinos
-the plain is called-la llanura se llama
road-.camino-.

Suddenly I tasteSiento de pronto el gusto
a strange mineral,de un raro mineral,
sometimes I feel like a manme siento a veces hombre
and often an animal.y muchas animal.
Desire gets mixed upSe confunde el deseo
to warm the skinde calentar la piel
with distant roarscon rugidos lejanos
that remind me of a woman.que recuerdan mujer.

And on a narrow beach, these reminiscences of poisonY en una playa angosta caen del cielo
fall from the sky.estas reminiscencias de veneno.
I don't know, but there are restless daysYo no sé, pero hay días sin reposo
where I destroy whatever is near meque lo que tenga cerca lo destrozo
very primitively, almost savagely,muy primitivamente, casi salvajemente,
with hatred, with contempt, with resentment,con odio, con desprecio, con rencor,
with hurtful words, with claws and teeth,con palabras hirientes, con garras y con dientes,
with rage, with violence, with horror.con rabia, con violencia, con horror.

I have sung to deathLe he cantado a la muerte
like no one alive,como nadie con vida,
but I always said:mas yo dijera siempre:
dear.querida.
With every wordJunto a cada palabra
there are millions of bodieshay cuerpos de millones
and I killed them myself:y los maté yo mismo:
forgive me.perdonen.

Sometimes I forgetA veces se me olvida
that I kill to liveque mato por vivir
and I forget the burialsy olvido los entierros
and I don't want to sleep.y no quiero dormir.
The day they accuse meEl día que me acusen
I won't defend myself:no me defenderé:
this guilt is very old,esta culpa es muy vieja,
I inherited it from everyone.de todos la heredé.

And on a narrow beach, these reminiscences of poisonY en una playa angosta caen del cielo
fall from the sky.estas reminiscencias de veneno.
I don't know, but there are restless daysYo no sé, pero hay días sin reposo
where I destroy whatever is near meque lo que tenga cerca lo destrozo
very primitively, almost savagely,muy primitivamente, casi salvajemente,
with hatred, with contempt, with resentment,con odio, con desprecio, con rencor,
with hurtful words, with claws and teeth,con palabras hirientes, con garras y con dientes,
with rage, with violence, with horror.con rabia, con violencia, con horror.