I Can't Laugh

When I search beyond the gates
Only find jealousy and hate
I live in haziness, like in a trance
I'm really not healthy at all

Sneakin' out step by step
Maybe I'll have a surprise
Nothing happens, I'm still locked
Always afraid of the big fall

A snowstorm is coming
Each time I open up my mind's door
There's no solace for me
I can't laugh anymore

A great deal of information
Injected in me by poison makers
My blood vessels contract in fear
Of what they begin to see and hear

It's better be hated by what you are
Than be loved by what you're not
Forget me, I'll never be cured
I live in my own abyss