Parking Lot

I saw you yesterday
I didn't even say: Hi
I know you don't deserve that
But I couldn't find the words
I let 'em out in my best friend's car
Just calling you things that I know you aren't
A gaslighter, a fake-ass crier, and stupid
An imposter, but I'm a liar, 'cause the truth is

I don't wanna let you go
Holding on to threads of hope
I'd rather hate you if I don't get to have you anymore
Sorry that I've been so cold
Maybe it was all my fault
I had to make you the enemy so I can keep you close
Oh, I'm covered in tears in this parking lot
Holding this grudge 'cause it's all I've got

Four years and twenty bad fights
Black-outs and little white lies
It's easier to look back and leave out the good nights
Say goodbye in your parents' yard
Was calling you things that I know you aren't
You're a player, manipulator, but the truth is

I don't wanna let you go (go)
Holding on to threads of hope (hope)
I'd rather hate you if I don't get to have you anymore (you anymore)
Sorry that I've been so cold
Maybe it was all my fault
I had to make you the enemy so I can keep you close
Oh, I'm covered in tears in this parking lot
Holding this grudge 'cause it's all I've got

I had your Friday midnights
Kissing in blurry headlights
Had your heavenly shoulder to cry on
In the back of the taxi, saying: Take me home
Now I'm left on my own, and you took it all
Your perfect body and all of your clothes
Out the door while you left me with nothing but blood on my hands
And nothing to hold

But I don't wanna let you go
Holding on to threads of hope
I'd rather hate you if I don't get to have you anymore (you anymore)
I'm sorry that I've been so cold
Maybe it was all my fault
I had to make you the enemy so I can keep you clo-o-o
Oh, I'm covered in tears in this parking lot
Holding this grudge 'cause it's all I've got