[Waiter]
Bienvenue to Bistro à la Mode

[Marianne]
I hate to ask, but could we have some water?

[Waiter]
Water? You want water?

[Leo]
Lemme get this straight, nothing here is what it seems?

[Waiter]
No, no, no, that is passé
Our new menu is post-deconstructif
Everything now is what it is
We have boeuf, that is actual boeuf, on the actual hoeuf
We have pigeon that's made out of pigeon
And a green salad, made of just greens!

[Claudia]
How's the pigeon prepared?

[Waiter]
Does it matter? What does anything matter?
It is what it is, things are what they are
La vie est la vie

[Leo]
Okay, everybody know what they want?

[Waiter]
Do we know what we want? Does anyone know what they want?
As soon as we know what we want and find what we want, life, she spits in our face

[Paul]
Any specials?

[Waiter]
Black bean soup
Blackened catfish
Blackbird puddin
Boudin noir
Black Sea blackberries in a chocolate gateau!
Dark chocolate! Dark! Dark! Dark!

[Leo]
Chicken Basquaise, baby! That's what I want

[Waiter]
Sometimes you want to much, too soon
And then it's too late
But what can you do if that's on your plate?
You do what you can

[Marianne]
What's going on back there?

[Waiter]
Nothing! Nothing! C'est rien là!

[Marianne]
Is that a private room?

[Waiter]
It is nothing, really!

[Marianne]
But I adore private rooms!

[Claudia]
Oh my God!

[Paul]
Phillippe!

[Leo]
That's Philippe?

[Waiter]
That was Philippe

[Leo]
Yeah, but he's just kiddin' right?

[Waiter]
Sure! He was French, he had no sense of humour
He was what he was
We are what we are
It is what it is!
So, are we ready to order?