Note: this segment is spoken. The five of them describe each
Jon: One of us was a U.S. Army MP.
Jimmy: One of us came out of the closet at thirty-seven.
Cliff: One of us went to his high school prom, but with his
Aurelio: One of us was a high school cross-country champion.
Michael: And one of us WAS a high school cross-dresser, and it
Jon: One of us coached high school wrestling.
Jimmy: As teenagers, two of us attempted suicide.
Cliff: All except one of us are single, and available!
Michael: And bitter... and desperate!
Jon: I only date pro-feminist men, so it kinda, you know,
narrows it down.
Michael: That's why you're so lonely!
Jon: I know!
Jimmy: One of us believes that size matters.
Jon: And four of them are LYING.
Aurelio: One of us ran away from home at the age of fourteen.
Cliff: Two of us have been repeatedly arrested for civil
Aurelio: One of us had a former girlfriend who died of AIDS as the
result of a blood transfusion.
Michael: One of us is a survivor of childhood sexual abuse.
Jon: One of us was fag-bashed with a two-by-four.
Jimmy: One of us has been living with AIDS for ten years.
Michael: And he's tired of it