Otherwise

Kept me at arm's length
Who could've known?
That the woman who would break my heart
Was spiraling low

You smiled like a warning
You vanished like smoke
And I was too proud to ask
Where you go when you go

Broke my heart to pieces
How would I know?
That the person who once swore me love
Was cold and alone

You held me like thunder
Then left me with ghosts
And I was too tired to ask
What you fear when you're close

I saw the door closing
But I called it fate
I heard your voice breaking
But I turned away

We were young enough to wound
Old enough to know

Some hearts don't break
They just learn to let go

Should've hated you
But otherwise I don't
Should've hated you
But otherwise I won't

Should've burned your name
Should've let it die
But I still hear you breathing
On the other side

Kept all your letters
In a box under rain
Read them like scripture
Then cursed every page

I wanted an answer
I wanted a war
But you looked so lonely
I forgot what I came for

I kept the light burning
Like you'd come through the hall
Talked to the silence
Till it said nothing at all

I wanted forgiveness
I wanted the truth
But every road backward
Still led me to you

I saw the hurt in you
I saw the fear in you

I called it betrayal
I called it survival

We were both just bleeding
Through a beautiful lie
Trying to hold on
While saying goodbye

Should've hated you
But otherwise I don't
Should've hated you
But otherwise I won't

Should've burned your name
Should've let it die
But I still hear you breathing
On the other side

Maybe I was cruel
Because I was afraid
Maybe I was cold
Because I couldn't stay

Maybe all the damage
Was a language we learned
Maybe love is a house
We still watch as it burns

If I called your name
Would you turn around?
If I lost my way
Would you lead me out?

If the night gives in
If the morning comes
Would we still be strangers
When the damage is done?

Should've hated you
But otherwise I don't
Should've hated you
But otherwise I won't

Should've burned your name
Should've let it die
But I still hear you breathing
On the other side

Should've hated you
But otherwise I don't
Should've hated you
But otherwise I won't

Should've walked away
Should've said goodbye
But I still feel you reaching
From the other side

Kept me at arm's length
Broke me into pieces
Who could've known?

Should've hated you
But otherwise I don't