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I'm Not Comedian

Tom Green

Letra

    Ha
    Ha
    For those of you that think this is, a comedy record...
    Check it!

    [Verse 1:]
    I'm no comedian
    I'm a fiend for nicotene
    But I don't need a cigarette
    Know what I mean?
    I keep 'em bustin' a nut
    On these routines
    You'll never see a brick wall
    Back of my blue jeans
    So come around
    Open your mouth for protein
    If rockin' the mic was a drug
    Then I'm a dope fiend
    There's not a neon sign that says
    "Yum, Yums" or "Cracker Jacks"
    My raps are causin' laugh attacks
    Not knock knock jokes
    I tickle trunks
    Now who's on first?
    You silly punks
    Home, without hit re-runs
    It won't be syndicated sitcoms
    Just me droppin' bombs
    'Cause I'm no comedian
    I'm droppin' dope like this one
    It's not Carrot Top causin' a shit storm
    I'm break wreck
    Roll over ya like a german tank
    There's no redemption
    This ain't shawshank
    Or Johnny Carson
    Or Buddy Mark
    Unless Pee-Wee Herman
    But funny like Biz Markee
    But I ain't no joke
    On the mic I'm a killa
    So go get in a cacoon and curl up like a caterpillar
    You wanna have a chuckle? (Ha, Ha)
    I'm not in the mood
    So just buckle up your seat buckle
    And prepare for impact
    And if you're wearin' your retard helmet then you'll be intact

    [Chorus:]
    I'm droppin' dope like this one (Ha, ha, ha, ha)
    I'm no comedian
    I'm droppin' dope like this one
    And I ain't no joke

    [Verse 2:]
    I'm no comedian
    I got too many fat raps
    And sucka Emcees flat like flapjacks
    I'm not tellin' a joke or a riddle
    I'm not Jack Paar
    Jumpin' on a stool in the middle of the stage
    Under the spotlight
    I'm just a roastin' most of ya
    Never been toasted
    I'm the poster for boastin'
    I got more flows than your foes
    And tongue-tied in a twiddle
    Dee-dot, duh-deedle-deedle dum!
    Ha, Ha (Ha, Ha)
    I'm no comedian
    I'm rippin' it up in every medium
    I sound dope
    You sound like you're on helium
    So say hello to my ex at your next A.A. meetin'
    And don't make me laugh
    Oh wait, That's right
    You don't make me laugh
    You got the personality of an overpass
    Your bank account on overdraft
    While I'll be dippin' dollar bills in your girlfriends ass
    I'm blowin' your brain like the sax
    With my rhymes
    Shapin' your ball like kojack
    Throw jacks, and smokes
    And tell jokes when no one laughs
    Give a shrug and drop it on another track
    This is a payback
    Prepare for impact
    Put on your retard helmet and you'll be intact
    HOOO!

    [Chorus]

    I'm no comedian
    I'm droppin' dope like this one
    I'm no comedian
    I'm droppin' dope like this one
    I ain't no joke.


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