Dark Static Moments

I feel like I've Been Going
nowhere in my life for years
All these empty promises
empty threats.
it was such a dark static moment when we met.
nothing felt right, maybe thats why
I went so far, too far,
beyond sorrow, pain or lust.
the empty silences in our forced conversation
trying to be what I cannot be
I never felt so alone in my entire life
so alone and desperate to be somewhere else
what in this world can change me?
what in this world can rouse me
form my sleep
my eyes may be open but I see nothing
my mouth may be open but it is not words I am forming
not in any language
you can undestand
I hear what you are saying
but it makes no sense to me, it never did
how did I come to this?
When did I start, dead to the world
the word is black and white in my soundless dreams
there is nothing I can do so carve me up one last time
and leave me for the dogs
I have no pity for these grey lines
no remorse and no pity
that carve me up and sell my soul
what is worth? is it worth your love or your compassion?
I think you know the answer
every time I dream
I seem to leave it all standing at some deserted train station
waiting, watching
with and old timetable in my hand
willing another cold morning
in another city
or another sunset surrounded by strangers waiting, watching
I need somewhere to rest my head.