Hello, welcome to the club
And look at these wall-to-wall bores
They're falling over themselves
Just to get inside these doors

Ain't it just grand to be elite
A cut above all the rest
Fodder for the gossip columns
Want a picture? Be my guest

I lack something, what can it be?
Cocktail credibility
I won't let that bother me
Cocktail credibility

If Nero fiddles while Rome burned
He could learn a thing or two
By mixing with his clientele
They'd show him just what he could do
Hold up your paper umbrella
Suck a lemon, chew on ice
It won't prevent the holocaust
But it's sure good to look nice