God, Am I Too Far Gone?

I almost said your name
Then swallowed it again
(Are you there?)

I keep rehearsing what I tell you
Like you weren't there when it happened
Make a softer version of the truth
And hope you never ask it

There's a message on my phone
From someone I should answer
I keep waithing to feel different before
I say what matters
(I was wrong)

I've been calling it the past
Like that means I put it down
If I finally ask forgiveness
Do I have to say it out loud?
Out loud

God, am I too far gone?
Or have I just been hiding too long
If I come with nothing left to say
Will you hear me anyway?
Will you hear me?
I don't know where to start
So I'll start with what I've done
God, am I too far gone?
Am I too far gone?
(Don't let me go)

I drove past the street they live on
Found a reason not to stop
Had an apology beside me
And a letter never dropped

I've been asking for a clean slate
They still wake up with the cost
I can't make their hurting smaller
By explaining what I lost
(I know that now)

If forgiveness has a dorrway
I've been sleeping on the steps
Too ashamed to turn the handle
Too afraid there's nothing left
Let me in!

God, am I too far gone?
Or have I just been hiding too long
If I come with nothing left to say
Will you hear me anyway?
Will you hear me?
I don't know where to start
So I'll start with what I've done
God, am I too far gone?
Am I too far gone?
(Don't let me go)

I don't need to hear I'm innocent
I need to learn to face the day
Without making every wrong turn
An excuse to stay this way
(I can change)

I can send the letter
I can make the call
I can tell the truth
Without explaining it away
(No more hiding)
(I'm done hiding)

God, am I too far gone?
Or have I just been hiding too long
Here I am with nothing left to say
Can you meat me here today?
(I'm still here)

I don't know where to start
So I'll start with what I've done
God, am I too far gone?
Am I too far gone?
(I'm coming home)

I finally said your name
And let the silence stay
(I'm listenimg)