healing hurts

I expected the exhaustion and the days I couldn't get out of bed
I expected the prescriptions and the pain I felt in my head
I thought slowly I'd start feeling better
I'd stitch my life back together one day at a time
In one long straight line

But healing fucking hurts sometimes
I wish I would've known
I probably would've closed my eyes
Waited 'til it was all over
It gets better 'til it just gets worse
A full-time job isn't this much work
I know that I'll survive, but
Healing fucking hurts sometimes

I expected for the few weeks, I might not feel quite like myself
I expected someone to tell me, some explanation for what I'd felt
But now it's been more than a year
And I still don't have any clear-cut answers
And asking just feels like slipping backwards

But healing fucking hurts sometimes
I wish I would've known
I probably should've closed my eyes
Waited 'til it was all over
Yeah, it gets better 'til it just gets worse
A full-time job isn't this much work
I know that I'll survive, but
Healing fucking hurts sometimes

Oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh-oh
Oh-oh-oh
Mm-mm

No one told me it would get this lonely
I-I-I-I spent six months piecing back together
Of who I was, will it be forever?
So jaded, done being patient
I-I-I-I'm sick of hearing that I'll be fine

'Cause healing fucking hurts sometimes
I wish I would've known
Someone told me to close my eyes
Wait until it was all over
Yeah, it gets better 'til it just gets worse
A full-time job isn't this much work
I know that I survived, but
Healing fucking hurts sometimes