I Saw The Sings

It's the kind of pain you don't scream about
You just, adjust to it
Smile through it
Lose yourself inside it
Quietly

You stopped asking how my day went
But I still asked you about yours
Even when your answers got shorter
Like you didn't need me anymore
I remember cooking your favorite dinner
You barely touched your plate that night
Said you were just tired from work
But you had energy for your phone, not me, right?

I started memorizing your silence
The way it filled up every room
How I'd sit next to you on the couch
But still feel like I was alone with you
I re-read old messages at 2 AM
Back when you couldn't get enough
Trying to find where I went wrong
When I suddenly stopped being enough
I kept telling myself it's just a phase
Love don't always feel like butterflies
But deep down in places I couldn't say out loud
I knew I was being slowly left behind

I saw the signs
I just loved you more
Stayed when my heart was already sore
Turned every red flag into something I could fix
Like if I gave you enough, you wouldn't do this
I felt you leaving me in slow motion
But I stayed loyal to your distance
Even when I started feeling invisible
I called it love instead of resistance
I saw the signs
I felt the truth
But I kept choosing you
Even when you stopped choosing me

I learned how to act like I didn't notice
When you turned your phone away
Or how your goodnight felt so empty
Like you were already miles away
I stopped bringing up how I felt
'Cause it always turned into a fight
You said I was too emotional
So I cried quieter just to keep you in my life
I remember one night I needed you
Couldn't even explain why I was breaking down
You sighed like I was a burden
While I was trying not to drown
And I hated myself for staying soft with you
When you kept getting colder with me
I kept giving you understanding
While losing every piece of me
I shrank so much just to fit your comfort
Silenced my needs just to keep your peace
And the worst part is
You got used to a version of me that didn't need anything
I abandoned my voice to keep you listening
Turned my pain into something small
But loving you felt like disappearing
And I still gave you my all

I saw the signs
I just loved you more
Stayed when my heart was already sore
Turned every red flag into something I could fix
Like if I gave you enough, you wouldn't do this
I felt you leaving me in slow motion
But I stayed loyal to your distance
Even when I started feeling invisible
I called it love instead of resistance
I saw the signs
I felt the truth
But I kept choosing you
Even when you stopped choosing me

The night I realized I was begging
For the bare minimum from you
Something in me finally broke open
Like this isn't what love is supposed to do
I looked at myself in the mirror
Eyes swollen, heart in pieces
And I couldn't recognize the woman
Who thought this kind of love was what she needed
I gave you loyalty and ever-protected softness you never deserved
And all I got was confusion and silence
From a love that barely worked

I saw the signs, I just didn't leave
Stayed till there was nothing left of me
Kept pouring love into empty hands
Hoping somehow you'd understand
I felt the distance, I felt the change
But I kept finding ways to stay
Even when I was crying alone at night
Lying right next to you
Feeling miles away
I saw the signs
I knew the truth
But I was scared of losing you
Now I'm learning what I should've known from the start
I was never too much
I was just giving my heart to someone who couldn't hold it
If you've ever had to beg for love
If you've ever felt alone while lying next to someone
If you've ever questioned your worth
This wasn't love
And it was never your fault, oh