GHOST

I found your shirt behind the door
I don't remember keeping it
It still smells a little like you
Or maybe I'm imagining it

There's a glass you used to leave
Beside the bed, half full
I moved it to the kitchen
But somehow it came back to you

I stopped checking if you'd call
I stopped waiting for the sound
Funny how the quiet changed
The moment you were gone

I don't talk about you anymore
At least, that's what I tell my friends
But sometimes I turn around
Like you're about to walk in again

You're not here
But I leave your side of the bed untouched

You're not here
Still, I catch myself listening for you

Maybe I don't miss you
Maybe that's not what this is

I just don't know
How to live in a room
You used to fill

And every time I think I'm over it
Something pulls me back again

You're not here
But I swear I saw you
In the corner of my eye

I heard your laugh in the kitchen
Yesterday around two
I stood there for a minute
Like I forgot what people do

Your picture's face down in a drawer
I never threw it out
Not because I want you back
I just don't like how it turned out

You said we'd always know each other
Maybe that part came true
I know exactly what you look like
When you're lying through your teeth

And I don't hate you anymore
That's supposed to mean I'm free
But if you're really gone
Why are you still changing me?

You're not here
But I leave your side of the bed untouched
You're not here
Still, I catch myself listening for you

Maybe I don't miss you
Maybe that's not what this is

I just don't know
How to live in a room
You used to fill

And every time I think I'm over it
Something pulls me back again

You're not here
But I swear I saw you
In the corner of my eye
Nobody's here
So why am I whispering?

I opened the window
Just to let you out
But the colder it got
The more I felt you around

Maybe the ghost isn't you
Maybe it's what I became
The girl who learned to leave
But never learned to stay

You're not here
And I'm finally starting to believe it
Your side of the bed
Doesn't feel like yours anymore

Maybe I don't miss you
Maybe I miss who I was

Before I knew
How easy it was
To disappear from someone

I turned off the hallway light
And nothing followed me
You're not here

For the first time
I don't need you to be

I heard something in the kitchen
It was only me