I Still Love the Red, White and Blue

A bunch of Bolsheviks, one day
Were working out an easy way
To make this hellish world a perfect heaven
And among that thickly bearded clan
To discuss the five-and-ten-cent plan
Was a pure American girl of thirty-seven
The leader rose and said to them
"Is this the flag you love?"
And he waved a scarlet banner to and from
To which they all, with great success
Pronounced the Russian word for "Yes,"
except the American girl, who cried "No."

I still love the red, white and blue
You may think that I'm funny, but I do
I cannot understand to what it is owin'
I must be a cross between Betsy Ross and George M. Cohan
To progress I may be a drag
But the star-spangled banner is my flag
Because of Washington, Jefferson, Lincoln, Monroe
Longfellow, Whittier, Bryant and Poe
Pershing and Lindbergh and Morgan and Mellon
And Amos and Andy too
I still love the red, white and blue

I still love the red, white and blue
People here think it's crazy, but I do
We've arraged I should meet that young man Mountbatten
But why should I wait when I got a date with old Manhattan
Where else could the wild sow an oat
Had that bimbo Columbus missed his boat
In spite of cyclones and prairie fires, earthquakes, and floods
Luckies, Chesterfields, Camels and Spuds
Grifters anf grafters, con men and gunmen
And men I've been married to
I still love the red, white and blue