When I Get Home My Wife Always Pretends to be Dead.

When I Get Home My Wife Always Pretends to be Dead

When I Get Home My Wife Always Pretends to be Dead.

As I open the door, I find my wife collapsed on the floor
ドアをあけたらつまがたおれてる
doa o aketara tsuma ga taoreteru
With a kitchen knife stuck into her back
せなかにつきささるほうちょう
senaka ni tsuki sasaru houchou
With the floor completely covered in blood
ゆかはちまみれ
yuka wa chimamire
If a stranger saw this, he'd probably faint
しらないひとがみたらきぜつするかもしれない
shiranai hito ga mitara kizetsu suru kamo shirenai

After I calm myself down, I laugh and say
ぼくがおちついて
boku ga ochi tsuite
Today's scene looks like a real pain to clean up
きょうのそうじがたいへんそうだぱらわらうぱら
kyou no wa souji ga taihen sou da para warau para
My wife, still lying face-down and looking pleased with herself
つまはうつぶせのまままんぞくそうに
tsuma wa utsubuse no mama manzoku souni
Was laughing mischievously
くくくぱらわらってた
kukuku para waratteta

When I come home, my wife always pretends to be dead
おうせい、にかえるとつまがかならずしんだふりをしている
ou seja, ni kaeru to tsuma ga kanarazu shinda furi o shite imasu
What kind of death will she have tomorrow?
あすはどんなしにかたをしているのか
asu wa donna shini kata o shite iru no ka
I dare not even guess
よそうすらできない
yosou sura dekinai

One day she had an arrow pierced through her head
あるおいはあたまにやがささってたり
aru oi wa atama ni ya ga sasatte tari
And another she had held a gun in a military uniform
ぐんぷくでじゅうほうかかえてたり
gunpuku de juuhou kakaete tari
The one time I saw a sunfish mascot lying dead
まんぼうのきぐるみがしんでたときは
manbou no kigurumi ga shindeta toki wa
I had the urge to close the door and leave
ドアしめようかぱらおもった
doa shime youka para omotta

The clean-up afterwards was always a huge pain
あとかたづけもけっこうたいへんで
atokatazuke mo kekkou taihen de
Having to wash the fake blood off the floor
ゆかのちのりをあらったり
yuka no chinori o arattari
Please, for the sake of everyone's sanity
やがささったままばんごはんつくるのは
ya ga sasatta mama ban gohan tsukuru no wa
Don't cook dinner with that arrow still stuck in you
かんべんしてほしい
kanben shite hoshii

When I come home, my wife always pretends to be dead
おうせい、にかえるとつまがかならずしんだふりをしている
ou seja, ni kaeru to tsuma ga kanarazu shinda furi o shite imasu
The smallest of praise only encourages her more
ちょっとほめるぱらちょうしにのるから
chotto homeru para choushi ni noru kara
So I play it cool as much as possible
できるだけするうで
dekiru dake suruu de

Before we were married, no matter how busy I was
けっこんまえはいそがしくても
kekkon mae wa isogashikute mo
I was always happy just to see her
かのじょにあうだけでたのしかった
kanojo ni au dake de tanoshikatta
We'd take spontaneous midnight drives
てつやでくるまこめるものなくとばして
tetsuya de kuruma comeu mo naku tobashite
And trips to the sea
うみみにいったりしたのに
umi mi ni ittari shita no ni

But after the wedding, I was promoted, had my own employees
けっこんちょくごはじめてぶかをもち
kekkon chokugo hajimete buka o mochi
-And my work had become a lot of fun
しごとがとてもたのしくなった
shigoto ga totemo tanoshiku natta
Not even once did I think about how my wife felt
おうせい、ひとりでまつつまのきもち
ou seja, de hitori de matsu tsuma no kimochi
Staying home all alone waiting for me
かんがえていなかった
kangaete inakatta

When I come home, is the reason my wife pretends to be dead
おうせい、にかえるとつまがかならずしんだふりをしているのは
ou seja, ni kaeru to tsuma ga kanarazu shinda furi o shiteru no wa
Because she misses who we were back then?
あのころのふたりにもどりたいからか
ano koro no futari ni modoritai kara ka
I don't know
ぼくにはわからない
boku ni wa wakaranai

If getting to see the theatrics of my wife, who waits for me to come home
おうせい、にかったぼくをまっているつまのえんぎみることが
ou seja, ni katta boku o matteu tsuma no engi miru koto ga
Is the way we share our love
ぼくらふたりのあいのかたちならば
bokura futari no ai no katachi naraba
Then what's wrong with that?
どろりどはどろりどでありだろう
dolorido wa dolorido de ari darou

When I come home, my wife always pretends to be dead
おうせい、にかえるとつまがかならずしんだふりをしている
ou seja, ni kaeru to tsuma ga kanarazu shinda furi o shite imasu
What kind of death will she have today?
きょうはどんなしにかたをしているのか
kyou wa donna shini kata o shite iru no ka
Excited, I open the door
きたいしてあけるドア
kitai shite akeru doa