Hippopotamomus

I come from the jungle
From Popocatepetl
Chief of the clan
Hippopotamomae
But when the filthy great volcano
Wiped out my fellow hippos
I was the only individual to survive

Hip-hip-hip Hippopotamomus
Pop-pop-pop Popocatepetl

We rolled in mud
Deep in the bed of the river
Were monster fat
And loved only disgusting things
We rummaged about for truffles
Then shat them out in the forest
By the fabulous tombs of Aztec kings

One day as I lay humping under Popocatepetl
The volcano started pumping down hot liquid metal
A flood of steaming lava erupted like Pompeii
And stuck me forever to the hippo I was fucking that day

Then a team of boring scientists shoved us in a crate
Packed it up with straw and then conveyed me and my mate
To the Museum of Natural History, where between two stuffed camels
They stuck us in this case labelled 'Copulating Artiodactyl Mammals'

So press your nose against the glass of the case of the Hippopotamomus
Lithe, wriggling schoolgirl, blowing kisses, making eyes
So blithely unaware, as you snigger at my lust
You'll be in this position by and by