Nineteen

There's a fire in my heart
But I've got blood in my mouth
Tongue caged by my teeth
Trying hard just to speak
But your shout has got me beat
And I'm rusting, I'm rusting

And my mother always told me
Tread lightly, don't step on his toes
And that was okay at a young age
But I am fully grown

Suit and tie at the table
Another disappointment
I'll stay quiet, still unstable
I'll swallow the poison

'Cause I am not who you were at nineteen
I am not the man you want me to be
I'm not a warrior, I am fragile, I am weak
I'm not a warrior, I am not you, I'm barely me

Someday, I hope to make it clear to you that success
Is not determined by leather-bound books and ink on paper
But rather the passion that I have found out of heartbreak and anger
I know that happiness is stability, but stability is not a desk job
And I refuse to sacrifice my aspirations for an income and security
What the hell is security?

See, I'd rather die at my fullest
Poor, but free to roam, than let an office drain me slowly for the sake of a home
'Cause I watched your endless intermission, an actor trapped in mediocrity
Gave up on your ambitions, and your convictions compared to mine
What a rigid dichotomy

'Cause I am not who you were at nineteen
I am not the man you want me to be
I'm not a warrior, I am fragile, I am weak
I'm not a warrior, I am not you, I'm barely me
I am not who you were at nineteen
I am not the man you want me to be
I am not, I am not
I am not my father's son