I'm gonna tell you 'bout a thing that happen long time gone
while Pato Banton was down in London
it's been a secret now for far too long
so right about now me want tell everyone.
Ready me ready
and a gone me gone.
When I go to London I get accommodation
from my aunt Patsy who lives in Brixton.
She's young free and single and a trouble to a man.
if she ever gets married I'm sorry for the husband.
She would wear the pants and he would wear the apron
she would make him wash the plates and scrub the dutchpan.
The other evening we were in the house playing Koon-Kan
a card game invented by a very wise man.
When I won six games straight my aunt shouted: "Oh! damn."
then "bring bring" the telephone rang.
I threw down the cards and to the phone I ran
'cause I was expecting a call from a lovely woman.
Her name was Pat she lived up north in Islington
it was either love, lust or infatuation.
"Hello is Pato there?" was he first question.
Cool as cucumber I replied: "You're speaking to the man."
"Can you come round tonight?" was her second question.
I said: "Darling your wish is my command."
She gave me her address and said: "See ya later on."
I just hung up the phone and said: "Auntie me gone."
Out of the front door heading in one direction
I was walking towards Brixton tube station.
On the Victoria Line I'd reach my destination
'cause it's only ten stops from Brixton to Islington.
Brixton, Stockwell, Vauxall, Pimlico
I was on my way to see a lovely woman.
Victoria, Green Park, Oxford Circus, Warren St.
then the next stop was Houston.
Two stops left from my destination
the King Cross (St. Panoras) then Highbury/Islington.
To reach Pat's house, it never take long
me just ask a couple of people for the direction.
Me just run up the stairs and press the intercom
a voice said: "Who's that?" Me say: "Pato Banton."
When she opened the door my heart went bang!
this was beauty beyond all imagination.
Inside I went without no hesitation
'cause to stay all night was my intention.
The tele' signed off at half past one
then me and Pat had a short conversation.
Then to the bedroom me get me invitation
so now me a go tell you what went on.
The gal took off her wig and put it on a wall
you should have seen how her was bald.
Me so shock and surprised I could not laugh
that's when she tool out her teeth and put them in a glass.
I could tell she was a suffer from eczema
'cause all over she rashy all over.
She come up to me and start whisper:
"Tonight Pato Banton you will be my lover."
Me just pick up me jacket and fling on me cap
out of the front door me start to gallop.
Even when the gal a shout out: "Pato come back!"
gone me gone and me nar come back.