Never ask a reader

Never ask a reader
Yeah, yeah
Yeah, never ask a reader
La-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da -da-da

Never ask a reader: Don't you have enough books?
Brother, don't be brave
That question almost sent me to an early grave
And don't say: It's just fiction with that little grin
'Cause now she's crying since chapter thirty-six killed him

And don't you ever ask her: Where's this addiction going?
Unless you wanna watch another bookshelf growing
Learn real fast some thoughts are better left unsaid
A reader wife keeps score of every reckless thing you said

Never ask a reader why she needs more books
Never say: He's not real, like you don't know how this works
Never ask: Do you have enough space?
And don't bring up that tbr, she'll shrug and rearrange the place

Never ask a reader: What's your favorite book?
She'll name at least eleven, then she'll end you with a look
I once asked why she bought three versions of the same title
I knew in that moment I should not start a riot

Apparently, sprayed edges are financially essential
And special edition hardcovers are basically collectible
You think you're being helpful, you think you're being wise
You ask about her tbr stack and watch the danger rise

Why buy the whole series before reading book one?
She said cliffhangers exist and I refuse to be undone
Now I sit there in silence, handing tissues with respect
'Cause fictional heartbreak hits like a train wreck

Never ask a reader why she needs more books
Never say: He's not real, like you don't know how this works
Never ask: Where's that one going? Or don't you have enough?
And if you question signed editions, she might start to play rough

Never ask a reader, what's this one about?
You'll lose the next three hours when the tea comes out
'Cause he's not real might actually start a fight
One wrong comment, you'll be on the couch tonight

Never ask a reader when she's coming to bed
Cause somehow you'll lose to a fictional man instead
Never ask a reader
La-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da -da

Never ask a reader why wingspan matters
Or how he touches her with shadows
You'll watch her innocence shatter
Never ask a reader how much she spends
Or she'll use that credit card while your bank account descends

Never ask a reader if she's buying more again
Smile, nod, hold the stack, and accept your fate, my friend
Yeah
Never ask a reader