not knowing if i was worth the risk i would take

There's a shadow inside my mind
I recall the days when I was 12
I might have stayed home and never gone outside
Not knowing if I was worth the risk I'd take

There's this loneliness, ache in my chest
It felt like I'd just gotten used to it
All I remember is that I was lonely
Kneeling on the bed, shuddering to the bone

I went back to who I was before
Everything stood right before
Unaware of who I was inside
It all came crashing down right there

Silence was the price they borrowed
Was it fair to single me out like that?
Innocence turned into the sneers of my hand
And silence hid the spark of that flame
I return to that shattered soul, to what could've been
The foolishness eludes the reach of my hand

Unraveled from the fabric of who I am
A sanctuary where no one could reach me
A prisoner to the fear I couldn't name
Holding in the silence of my skin
A fire that consumes all that was before