(Top of the Pops)
Oh, Sir Jimmy, I saw you in a crown
Old, perverted, Royal scum
Top of the Pops, your hunting ground
Old, perverted, Royal scum

Everyone knows me, but they don't know
Who I am
Gentleman, shiny rings, swanky car
All on cam
Hey, I'm a star
I am pen pal with Prince Charles
Christmas dinner with the Thatchers
Shook hands with John Paul the Second

Oh, Sir Jimmy, I saw you in a crown
Old, perverted, Royal scum
Top of the Pops, your hunting ground
Old, perverted, Royal scum

Jim will fix it
Jim will fix it

Hand up the jumper
Hand on your mouth
I am a helper
Let me show you how
Cherchez la femme
Chercher les filles
STD and OBE
Don't you know that? (Ha)

Jim will fix it
Jim will fix it
Jim will fix it
Jim will–
Don't you know that? (Ha)
Jim will fix it
Jim will fix it
Jim will fix it
Jim will–

The world was so silent before I came along
I taught them melody, now they all sing my song
No treasure can balance the scales of my need
But nothing in this world is free
The debt that you owe me
Won't be paid with money
Or silver, or gold
I just want your soul
So tonight I have come to collect
You've done nothing wrong, but here's your punishment
Jim will fix it

I'm untouchable, let me touch you
Let me touch you 'cause I'm untouchable
For a good cause, it's for charity
Let me touch you 'cause I'm untouchable
I'm untouchable, let me touch you
Let me touch you 'cause I'm untouchable
For a good cause, it's for charity
Let me touch you 'cause I'm untouchable

Hand up the jumper
Hand on your mouth
I am a helper
Let me show you how
Cherchez la femme
Chercher les filles
STD and OBE
Don't you know that?

Jim will fix it
Jim will fix it
Jim will fix it
Jim will–
Don't you know that? (Ha)
Jim will fix it
Jim will fix it
Jim will fix it
Jim will– (ha)

Welcome to the Friday Morning Club (ha)
Welcome to the Friday Morning Club (ha)
Have some tea and cheap cream sponges
Hey, Mr. Officer, come hang with a monster (ha)
Welcome to the Friday Morning Club (ha)
Welcome to the Friday Morning Club (ha)
Have some tea and cheap cream sponges
Hey, Mr. Officer, come hang with a monster

Oh, Sir Jimmy, I saw you in a crown
Old, perverted, Royal scum
Top of the Pops, your hunting ground
Old, perverted, Royal scum