Minnie The Moocher At The Morgue

Now you've all heard the tale about Minnie the Moocher
Who lived by the subway in New York
Now she was a snow-eatin' sinner
She'd steal a poor man's silver knives and fork

Now the policeman took poor Minnie down to the jailhouse
Then down to the morgue for a ride
Now the policeman said: Minnie, tell the truth now
Did you know any o' these boys before they died?

Well, poor Minnie looked around at all them dead corpses
To see if there was anybody that she knew
And she said to that big fat policeman
Well, I think I knew maybe one or two

Now right over there is Burglin' Bud the bandit
He's got a cake of ice at his head and toe
Now that man was so hot when I knew him
He'd 'a' turned that cake of ice into snow

Now layin' right over there on that long stretcher
Why, that's poor Bowery Bob who run the cabaret
He tried to beat a rap by turnin' squealer
Somebody bumped him off yesterday

Minnie's eyes fell on a slab o' marble
And she screamed like the whistle on a train
On that slab laid Willie the Weeper
He was just deader than the king of Spain

Oh, Willie was Minnie's boyfriend
She didn't know that she was gonna find him there
Oh, laid out on a slab o' marble
All cold, bleak, and bare

Now my little story's all over
You've heard 'bout poor Minnie's plight
Now if you think this story ain't got no moral
You can just bet your bottom dollar you're right