VLAH-day DEE-vats

When I was 17
I didn't make the team
I couldn't achieve my dream of playing in the NBA
I couldn't make the pass
Of course I got picked last
Every body kicked my ass each and every day

He smokes two packs a day
That don't affect his play
He'd never roll a j
Like most guys today

He'd never beat up fans
He hardly understands
English but he's my man
And I'm his smallest fan

On and off the court he's got everything
If you ask me he's my hero
If you ask me he's my king

My whole life's is a nightmare but his life's a dream
There's only one guy I want to be

I want to be Vlade I want his body
I wanna be 7 feet tall, palm a basketball and never shave

If I could be Vlade I could be naughty
I could drive fancy cars, hit all the bars, and get all the babes
get all the babes

Now the Lakers have him back
only he could replace Shaq
on the roster now they're stacked
like Erica Elaniak

In bed he's a gentle giant
Maybe other pros should try it
He'd never rape like Kobe Bryant
or pay them off just to keep quiet

On and off the court he's got everything
If you ask me he's my hero
If you ask me he's my king

My whole life's a nightmare but his life's a dream
There's only one guy I want to be

I want to be Vlade I want his body
I wanna be 7 feet tall, palm a basketball and never shave

If I could be Vlade I could be naughty
I would drive fancy cars, hit all the bars, and get all the babes
get all the babes

I don't want to be Peja Stojakovic
I don't want to be Darco Milicic
I sure don't want to be Slobodan Milosovic
There's only one Serb I want to be

I want to be Vlade I want his body
I wanna be 7 feet tall, palm a basketball and never shave

If I could be Vlade I could be naughty
I would drive fancy cars, hit all the bars, and get all the babes
get all the babes